Tips to Avoid Boredom in Marriage

They may say that married life is bliss but everyone who has been married knows that there are times it isn’t very fun at all. Sometimes it’s downright boring.

The courtship process and the wedding itself is a whirlwind affair filled with excitement and love. Then you settle in to the relationship and things can get a little boring. Here are some tips to avoid boredom in marriage.

  1. Engage in Life and Growth

One key to avoiding marriage boredom is to not withdraw from life. You need to still live your life and grow personally.

Make some new friends and join new groups. You should never feel that being married or being a little older means that you can’t grow anymore or learn new things. Remember that you continue to grow for literally your entire life.

  1. Keep True to your Purpose

What do you do best and how can you best apply your skills and gifts to the world around you and your relationship?

Learn more about the meaning of life in general and the meaning of your life. You have a place in the world and you need to find it and embrace it.

  1. Connect with your Spouse but Still Give them Room

Your spouse needs to engage with their own friends and pursue their own life, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get involved with each other. Talk with each other about your dreams and what you think and feel about everything. You can continue to learn from your spouse during your marriage and it makes for fun and interesting conversation.

  1. Support Each Other

You need to keep each other going and encourage your partner to embrace and try new things. Too many couples feel threatened when their spouse decides they want to give something new a try.

Instead you need to encourage your partner to embrace these new ideas because they feel happy and supported when you do so. You and your spouse are two different people so you need to embrace those differences and support when you can’t join in.

  1. Adapt and Learn

You need to continue to adapt and learn about the world around you and give new things a go. You shouldn’t get stuck in your ways or it becomes too difficult to keep your mind open and embrace new ways to think and act. You can’t grow and change unless you welcome these new ideas. Here are some ideas to try to get that sparkle going.

If you want to avoid boredom in marriage you have to take a good look at yourself and work out what you want out of life, and then talk to your spouse about it and get them to do it with you. This conversation will bring about a lot of curiosity and will be pretty interesting. It should also trigger you and your spouse into living your life properly to avoid boredom. Being married is no excuse to stop living. So start living and stop being bored!

How to Maintain a Happy Marriage With Children

Marriages can be a whole lot of fun but then the kids come along.

Sometimes a marriage can quickly become all about the kids and it takes some of the happiness and fun out of it. You find it more difficult to spend time together and you barely ever get any alone time any more.

Here’s how to maintain a happy and healthy marriage with children.

Put Each Other Before the Kids

When you’re putting together a healthy marriage you need to focus on your partner more than you focus on your kids.

You’re a husband before a father, or a wife before a mother. The marriage forms the backbone of the relationship and you need everyone to be able to see and feel it. Let your kids see how much you love each other and show your partner that they are still special to you.

It also makes your kids feel more secure.

Don’t Interfere With your Partner’s Parenting

You and your partner will have a different role in your child’s life.

  • Mothers are typically the nurturers. They make children eat their vegetables and kiss their scrapes away.
  • Dads tend to be the fun and cool ones. Dad lets kids eat what they want when they want and just mess around.

While you might feel that your approach is better you should let your partner do things their way for a balanced upbringing.

Be United

To follow on from not interfering you also need to present a united front. You should support your partner and their decisions.

If your kids try and say that your partner let them do something you should resist the urge to say that you say they can’t, which is probably going to be difficult. Being a consistent united front shows your strength to your kids and lets them know that they can’t get away with something and say they were told it was okay by your partner.

Exercise

Staying active helps keep you and your relationship healthy. It also shows off some positive behavior to your kids. You can make it a family affair by going on walks or bike rides together as a family.

That further reinforces the positive behavior with your kids and gets them excited about exercise. No matter what it is you do make sure you do something and enjoy the endorphins that come with it.

Have Sex

When you think about it it’s almost ironic that a child would disrupt the very process that brought them into the world. Having a kid can really destroy a sex life but there’s no reason to let it. You need to make sex a priority again and find time for one another.

Sex and physical intimacy are what is holding your marriage together (plus it’s fun!) so make it a part of your marriage; even if you have to lock the bedroom door.

Kids can quickly become a major part of any marriage, but you still need to find time for each other and spend time together as a couple. Your partner, and indeed your marriage, will thank you for it.

What to do After an Argument With Your Loved One

argument-coupleNo one wants to go through an argument with the person they love.

It’s a sad fact of life that you will inevitably argue though. No relationship is perfect and if you think yours is then something is wrong. There are a few things to do to keep a healthy relationship.

But I guess the main issues stem from the fights and arguments with your beloved one.

There are things you can do after an argument to make things better though.

Here is a list of what to do after an argument with your loved one.

Give Them Space and Time

Immediately after an argument is when both of your tempers will still be flared and at their peak.

You’re both more likely to do or say something terrible if you don’t give someone the space and time they need to come down. If you try and make up too soon and they aren’t feeling receptive then you’ll just end up in an another argument.

Understand Why the Argument Happened

There’s a saying that you never fight for the reason you think you do. There are deeper reasons behind every argument.

Some big problems end up coming out through tiny little things.

Here are some of the real reasons that people argue. When you understand the reason why, you can move past it.

  • Inadequacy is a big reason your partner will start an argument.
  • They feel they aren’t good enough.
  • A fear of abandonment is another.
  • They are worried that you will leave them.
  • They may also feel unappreciated.

Remember that you may feel these things too.

Convey How You Really Feel In One Go

When you know the real reason you started an argument it’s important you convey that in a simple and concise manner. Just tell your partner exactly how you feel in one sentence.

Tell them what you feel and why. Such a sentence might be “I feel angry that I don’t have enough money to support you” or “I get scared if you talk to other people”.

Apologise, Even if You Aren’t to Blame

Even if you didn’t start the argument you can be the one to nip it in the bud and apologise for what happened. It can stop your partner and make them apologise too.

Explain that you didn’t want to argue with them and you want to try talking to them again when you’ve both calmed down. Remember to be sincere in your apology or your partner will pick up on it and you’ll quickly be in another argument.

Create Ground Rules

If your argument was a particularly bad one or it was about something that can be changed you may want to set new ground rules in your relationship.

You can agree to not shout at eachother again or agree that you or your partner won’t do the thing that caused the argument again.

Remember that love was never supposed to be easy. It was just supposed to be worth it. It is worth it too. Love can get past any argument or disagreement and if you and your partner love eachother you can move past this argument and, with careful manoeuvring, avoid such an argument in the future.

How To Tell When You’re Ready For Marriage

marriage coupleMarriage is something that most people want to go through. They pick someone who they feel will be their partner in life and love. Sometimes people move too quickly though. Or they don’t realise they’re ready and then they never end up getting married. If you want to know if you’re ready for marriage then let’s take a look at how you can tell.

You’re Committed (And so is Your Partner)

The biggest hindrance to marriage is a lack of commitment. There’s no real shame in not being committed enough. But if you want to get married you have to be committed. Marriage is supposed to a lifetime commitment. If you don’t look at your partner and see yourself staying with them, dealing with your mother-in law, always, through thick and thin, then you just aren’t ready yet and you still need to grow some more.

The Relationship is Stable

As well as being committed you need a stable relationship to get married. This doesn’t mean that you can’t get married if you have some arguments. No relationship is perfect. But if your relationship is toxic and you fight a lot then maybe you aren’t ready. You also shouldn’t get married if you find yourself constantly breaking up and getting back together. Stable relationships make for stable and long lasting marriages.

You Think in Terms of “We” and “Our”

When you think about your future, and the future you have with your partner, are you one entity? Do you think of your future as their future too? This is another big sign. When you think about the future and see yourself with them then it’s a good sign your relationship is in the right place for marriage. If they aren’t in your future plans then don’t make a commitment like marriage. It’s only going to work if you see yourself with them in the long term.

You Accept Their Past

One reason that marriages fail is that you don’t really know enough about your partner. Especially when it comes to their past. The past really does define the future. If you are worried about the past your partner has and the likelihood of it repeating itself then no, you aren’t ready for marriage. You need to know the things that could hinder your marriage, accept them, and move past them. Don’t hide your own past from your partner either. They have to know and accept you too.

You Plan a Marriage, Not a Wedding

There’s a difference between a wedding and a marriage. Everyone wants an ideal wedding, but very few actually consider the marriage that comes with it. You aren’t ready for marriage if all you want is a good wedding. You have to want the lifetime marriage that comes after it.

These are some of the signs that you are ready for marriage. It’s a major decision so please don’t rush it. Don’t forget that all of these points also apply to your partner.

Don’t just ask yourself if you are ready for marriage, ask yourself, and your partner, if they are ready for marriage too. yeah you need to take into account the feelings and opinion of your belved one…

Why we don’t usually get on well with mother-in-laws?

bride and mother in lawIt is often near the wedding time that Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships can become very complicated. In fact let’s be honest, it can be a bit difficult from the get go…

It could start out rough especially during the first few months of the couple. It’s basically a woman-to-woman problem but if left unresolved for a long period of time, it has the potential to turn into a family problem which nobody really wants, and you certainly don’t want it to ruin your wedding….

Don’t worry if you’re experiencing this problem right now because it’s more common than you think. Only a handful of women get along well with their mother-in-laws with no problems from day 1 until present so don’t stress over it that much.

It is a big deal but we assure you that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

So you can better understand the situation you’re in, here are a few reasons why we don’t really get along well with our mother in laws.

We’ll be adding in some tips that you can follow to foster a better relationship with her (because you have to) too:

Reason #1: She is a lioness protecting her position in the pride.

You’re the new comer and she does feel a little threatened that may take her place somehow. No mother-in-law will admit to this, of course, but think of it this way. She may not say it but she sees herself as someone who you can look up to, someone who you can go to for advice and someone whose advice you will always heed. While that isn’t a bad thing, sometimes mother-in-laws take it to the next level.

Solution #1: Accept her help and her opinion.

From time to time, try to ask for your mother-in-law’s help and for her opinion. But, you have to make sure that she knows her boundaries too.

How do you do that? By talking or communicating.

Ask her opinion about your wedding dress, invite her to your wedding make up consultation 🙂 Seek her help to organize the wedding to ease your stress.

And later, ask her what decorations would be appropriate for your child’s 1st birthday, ask her what wall paper color looks best in your living room and ask her to teach you her secret meatloaf recipe.

Afterwards, make sure that she knows that she’s appreciated for her help and her presence.

Reason #2: She doesn’t believe in the same things.

There are certain topics that are too hot to handle, especially during a family dinner or a family gathering.

Three at the top of the list would have to be money, religion and politics. The battle begins once someone makes a negative comment about someone else’s beliefs and, the bad news is, it could escalate and leave a few battle scars.

Solution #2: It’s ok to view things differently.

The keyword here is acceptance. As long as your mother-in-laws beliefs don’t cross the morality boundary, then just let it go and accept the fact that people will differ in opinions sometimes.

Trust us when we say that this is a bullet that you absolutely must dodge. Just walk away from it if nobody is willing to.

Reason #3: You’re a new mom and she’s seasoned.

Parenting style – this also has to be at the top most of the list of reasons why mother-in-laws and daughter-in-laws don’t get along well.

Comments similar to, “You should have taught your son to [insert whatever here]” are not appreciated and can sometimes come off as rude or insensitive. A lot of women have gone through this before and there’s a proper way to handle this situation:

Solution #3: Don’t take it the wrong way.

Most of the time daughter-in-laws think that when her new mother mentions anything about her children, it is a direct attack on her parenting style – she is judged, she is criticized and she is deemed unworthy to be a mother.

If you agree with this then you have to check yourself again. The solution does not rest on you taking the offense nor the defense. Most of the time, your mother-in-law did not mean anything by what she said. Thicken your skin a little bit.

Bottom Line for the Relationship to Work

The thing is, you both have to expect that there will be changes in their lives – you both have to make room for each other because that’s also what marriage is about: not just the union of two people but a union of two families.

Clear communication, acceptance, knowing limitations and a hint of being thick-skinned are needed for the relationship to work, not just for one side but, for both yourself and your new mom for the sake of your couple and your beloved ;